I'M BACK!

Long time no see...

Where have I been?!

I know it's been a while since my last post. 7 months to be exact. There have been a lot of changes in my life that contributed to this absence, plus a lot of soul searching that got a bit in the way of blogging. 

When I finished my last blog post in April, I had finished my first ultramarathon and was at a high point personally, but a low point professionally. I was super unhappy at the company I was working for, although I loved the industry and job position I was in. It took me a long time to think through what was making me unhappy, and decided to take the plunge and change jobs. Since then, I have moved to a much happier place with Fleet Feet Sports in Menlo Park, but the transition between jobs was tougher than I imagined it would be. 

I attempted to make this job transition while also training for back to back marathons, planning my honeymoon, transitioning my run group, trying to create (2!) new companies, and creating a new outlook on life for myself. It was just too much.

Needless to say, I ended up getting a little lost in all this, a little confused, and a lot busy. This lead to me performing poorly and peaking too early in my training, gaining too much weight, and culminated in a much to be desired performance at my marathon, Bizz Johnson, as well as a downgrade from marathon to half marathon in Nike. 

I'm smiling in this picture of myself at NWM 2012, but really inside I was super disappointed in myself for not being able to complete the full.

I felt a overwhelmed and disappointed in myself after these two races, and I let all the things I was attempting to change in my life spiral out of control. My goal of getting my race directing company off the ground in 2012 didn't happen. My performance I was hoping and had been working for at my marathons didn't happen. My hard work at my previous job was ending up having to be squandered. All these negative points in my life during the last part of 2012 are the biggest reasons I haven't been blogging. I honestly just felt like nothing I was doing in my life was going anywhere, and I was incredibly disappointed in myself and a little ashamed to show that disappointment to the world.

I realize now that was probably a mistake. I should have written about it and shared it with the world. Not every race is a victory, not every run feels good, not every job turns out the way you wanted it to, and sometimes things take a little longer than you thought. I think expressing my feelings through writing might have actually helped me figure out where I was mentally with everything, but I guess that is a mistake I have hopefully learned from now. 

Where I am now!

Anyways, after Nike, I decided to take some serious time off from racing. I needed a reset. I needed to realize where I was in my new job without letting the pressure of ongoing races get in the way. I got some needed rest with my honeymoon to Kauai and I got home feeling refreshed emotionally, but still not ready to seriously get into running. When I returned, I got better adjusted to Fleet Feet and really allowed myself to become a part of that incredible environment. I also took some more time off from seriously running and decided to recommit myself to my run group which had always centered me. 

Hawaii really helped me in remembering how to be in happy in life.

These decisions really helped me to remember why I loved running. 

Everyone I work with at Fleet Feet loves what they do and helping people find that love too. Period. That kind of passion is pretty infectious, and it helped me bounce back from my jaded, negative view of the running industry and infused in me a sense of purpose at the store and in my own running. I found a new family and a new set of friends with my coworkers. They make me so happy to go to work everyday, and I had forgotten how good that feels. The most important thing is that I feel so wanted there, and like I'm truly a part of something.

How can these people not make you happy to go to work everyday?!

I also realized what a wonderful family I had in my run group, and this reinvigorated me to get more serious about being an organizer for the group. I threw myself back into organizing, relearning my love for getting people together to engage in a happy and healthy activity. I also decided to do an end of the year gathering, and it made me realize all over again how much I love organizing these weekly runs with my good friend Mike. I've realized more than ever right now how much of a sense of purpose Go Far has given me. 

Some of my favorite people ever at Go Far's 2012 End of the Year Celebration.

Throughout all this hard internal and external work at my job and my run group, I still had no desire to train or race. Then a friend of mine at my new workplace started talking to me about this amazing race in Oregon, the Gorge Waterfalls 50K. For the first time in almost 5 months, I started feeling excited about running again. So now I have a brand new goal for a new year in 2013. 

Goals for 2013

I have lots of plans for 2013. I want to perform at my peak performance for Gorge. I don't want life changes to get in the way of my major goal. I'm the heaviest I've been, well, ever in my life, and it's time to get it under control. Losing weight will help me ultimately perform my best at Gorge. I want to continue to work hard at work, but also remember my own personal goals for race directing and try to focus more on that this year. I don't want to promise myself I'll get it off the ground this year and end up being disappointed in myself if it doesn't happen. I just want to do my best and see what happens. My final goal is going to be to run fewer races in 2013, but to run those races with a high quality and high intensity. In order to do this, I'm going to try to run 2013 miles in 2013. I'm going to run way fewer races in 2013 than I did in 2012 (I ran 14 races, all at least half marathons in 2012). 

So, expect to see many more blog posts from me this year than last year. I'm excited to show you my progress in my 4 major goals for 2013:

1. Lose 28 pounds

2. Perform at my peak ability at Gorge Waterfalls

3. Do work on getting my race directing company off the ground

4. Run 2013 miles in 2013

I hope you enjoy the journey and I can't wait to share it with you. That's all for now!

Remember, keep running!

Chillin' at Chabot

This past weekend I revisited a course I ran twice in a row for Brazen Racing's New Years Eve/New Years Day half marathons. I think since I had already run on these trails for 5 hours within a single weekend, I felt much more confident going into Inside Trail's Lake Chabot 30K than CTR's Steep Ravine (my first ever 30K).

Mike picked me up that morning at not nearly dark o'clock (the sun was actually up!) and we headed towards Lake Chabot for our 30K. The weather was PERFECT. The highs for the day were in the low 60s with slight wind and sunshine, sunshine, sunshine. We got started right on time at 8:30AM with a fairly unceremonious 3, 2, 1 GO! start.

The best part of this course was namely that we didn't have to go up the Hill of Horror that we had to deal with during Brazen's race. There was still a LOT of of climbing in ITR's course, but I'm really happy I didn't have to deal with that monster that hit you at mile 3 in Brazen's race.

Here's the elevation map of our course we ran on Saturday for ITR:

The run started out awesomely. You begin on a paved section for the first 3 miles with gently rolling hills that help get your legs warmed up and ready to start putting in some elevation. Then you get to your first major hill at mile 3. I was super proud of myself on this climb, as I was able to do my run 1 minute walk 1 minute strategy. First and last time I was able to do that, haha!

This first 5 miles was so so so pretty. You get to run through some awesome single track areas that take you through the Lake Chabot Regional Park. I got to see two of my favorite things on my run as well. First, I saw a banana slug:

And Lake Chabot's beautiful eucalyptus trees:

I was so happy in my forest-y running habitat I had almost forgotten about one of the most unique aspects of any run through this part of Lake Chabot forest. The frightening, scary, make you run a PR sound of a gun going off! That's right, I had totally forgotten about the gun range that happily disrupts your illusions of running through an area untouched by human hands. After a series of deep BOOMs there were a number of louder shorter bursts which I believe were pistols. Screw bird watching, a great activity at this part of the course is the "guess the gun" game. I think we were even closer to the range on this run than Brazen's, and I definitely high tailed it out of that area.

After running for my life, I was rewarded with an aid station at mile 5! Here I am, happy in the knowledge that I had survived any gun shots and that I had made it over the first of 4 major climbs during the run.

Do you see how happy I am there? That is because I hadn't fallen yet (like I did within the first 5 miles of my first 30K), and it was still nice and cool out. I only drank a small sip from my water so far, which may have been a big mistake, but at the moment I was sweating nicely, feeling strong after my successful first hill, and ready to conquer the next 13 miles.

The next section of the course was completely new to me. This was the "orange" loop extension that adds an additional 5-6 miles onto your run for your full 30K distance. If you have run with me frequently, you know there are four major things I hate to deal with when running:

1. SUN
2. WIND
3. HEAT
4. MEADOWS

The orange section of the course had all of these things combined in a nice happy little package. You are essentially running through an entirely exposed meadow with the sun beating down on you and the trail winding, never ending-ly, ahead of you. When I saw that giant meadow I had to run through, the first thing I thought was oh no. MEADOW OF MISERY. When I can see a trail stretched in front of me for a few miles, I tend to enter a state of running depression. However, I was saved by one of the things that I thought would make this section even sadder. The wind! The wind was amazing! It wasn't a heavy wind, but it was really really cool and helped alleviate any of the pain the sun might have brought on.

So, with the wind cooling me off I was able to avoid running sadness. Instead, I started thinking about what this meadow section reminded me of. It was so familiar, and I spent the first 15 minutes wracking my brain trying to figure out why it felt so familiar. And then it hit me. SUPER MARIO KART.

If you ever played Mario Kart on Super Nintendo, you will fondly remember this course:

I had a TON of fun imagining I was Toad, driving my way through this big meadow with its multiple animal holes. I was waiting at any moment for a giant gopher to come out and run with me!

Haha, OK, clearly distance running does not encourage sane thinking while running. But hey, it got me through to the 13 mile mark :) At this point I had completely stopped sweating, so I blame dehydration for my visions.

After the 13 mile mark, we headed back into familiar territory. The third aid station was set up right where the one was set up for Brazen, so that made me feel a lot more comfortable about running the final 4.2 miles. Unfortunately, I was so caught up in my reminiscing about my Brazen race that I took a sharp turn into the forest which Brazen's course followed. I got a few steps in, looked up, and then was like OOPS! Totally turned when I shouldn't have! ITR decided not to take this forest section, so I backtracked a bit and got myself back on course.

The final few miles were a little tough. My legs were definitely starting to feel the 15 miles I had already put in, and I knew there were some more rolling hills in store for me. I walked a few of the last hills, but overall was able to push myself in my last mile and really giving a strong kick to finish strong. Here I am (close to) 3 and a half hours later:

Smile not quite as happy, legs not quite as fresh, and water bottles remarkably empty. This is the dam that you have to cross over before you enter the final couple miles of the race. I really hate this dam. A lot. But I made it over and made it to the finish line! Yippee!

30K number 2 = COMPLETE! This run was a bajillion times better than my last 30K. I didn't feel like I was going to die afterwards, I didn't fall, and I didn't get lost. All things that are equaling to a huge success for my second ever 30K. Not only that, but I scored a 35 minute PR by finishing in 3:35 and I placed 2nd in my age group!! Check out the age group medal:

So happy! This is my FIRST EVER age group medal. I've finally figured out how to place in races... out-last the fast runners in longer distances, haha! Also, there were remarkably few under 29 year olds out there running the 30K or 50K. Works for me!

Congratulations to everyone who ran on Saturday at Lake Chabot, I hope you had as much fun as I did! I also got to see a few friends out there, including Diane and Allen (although I was being incredibly timid and didn't go say hi). Mike also had an amazing run, and got to relax about 40 minutes before I ambled my way across the finish line. It was nice seeing familiar faces at a non-Brazen race. I'll definitely be doing an ITR event again in the future, most likely the Woodside Ramble 50K! They are very organized, the course was well marked, and the aid stations were well stocked.

All in all a great experience, a great morning, and a great run!

Ramping Up

BEWARE! Long post!!

Today while I was out on a long run with a couple of friends, they asked me a question that really got me thinking.

How long have you been running for?

This is a pretty standard question you ask most other running friends during your training runs together. When I have asked others about it, most of the time my fellow runner can remember pretty close to exactly when they started running.

A year ago when I decided I needed to lose weight. 5 years ago after I got married. Last month when I wanted to change the way I was living my life.

Then the question always turns around, and I get asked, when did you start running? This is a really difficult question to answer. In one way or another, I have been running since high school. I ran indoor and outdoor track and field for a couple years after I made the decision that I needed to find friends (I was a pretty lonely, dorky kid in high school).

After high school, however, I was lost. There was no track at my college (we didn't even have a football field), and it was either cold and snowy or hot and humid. Running was something I knew I had to do to stay in shape and keep that freshman 15 off (that failed!), but it became really hard in college to run by myself after the past few years of high school where I was able to run not only for myself, but also to be a part of a team and feel close to my friends.

I ended up falling to a lot of things that were bad for me. Drinking, smoking, fighting with my boyfriend, (usually a combination of all three of these), laying in bed playing WoW for hours on end, eating horribly, and overall feeling pretty down on myself. This lasted for a couple years. Running was lost to me, and I had no desire to try and find it again.

Then things changed. My relationships became a lot more healthy (not only with my boyfriend, but also with my family), I quit smoking, I started eating better, and finally I made the decision to start running again. At first it was just in the school gym on the treadmill, but eventually I found my way outside again. I ran on and off for the last two years of college. I was not running a steady schedule, but hey I was getting myself out there.

Then grad school hit. For those of you who haven't attended grad school, grad school is like a train hitting you and throwing everything else that might have ever mattered to you off the tracks. Especially running. The first year of grad school I worked, and I worked, and I worked. I put off getting married. I worked on the nights and weekends when my fiancee was there, even though he took the time out of his life to drive 2 hours to come visit me. I was incredibly unhappy.

I think my mind was made up about grad school before I started my second year, but I wasn't ready to admit it. As I started my second year, I was ready to get back at work, but in a healthier work-life balance. That didn't work out as well as I hoped it to, but I had at least started running again. And as my miles increased, my desire to stay in grad school decreased. I loved how running made me feel, and it made me want even less to do the work I was doing in grad school.

Then I ran my first half marathon in May of 2010 with my fiancee. It was amazing. It was hard work, and the hard work I put into training paid off in the completion of my first half marathon. It was a reward I never experienced in grad school. At this point I had already decided not to continue in grad school, but the feeling I felt after completing my half validated my decision.

After a few unforeseen situations, I ended up in the Bay Area, working at a running store.

Running in the Bay Area has been a journey I have enjoyed more than anything else in my life. When I moved here, I made the decision to start running more seriously. I found a great group of folks already organized to run with, and also organized my own group of people I have grown to love like a family. My self esteem again has skyrocketed. I have found friends who are some of the best people I could have ever asked to share my running adventures with. I completed my first marathon with one of my running friends helping me along in my last 9 miles. I am running half marathons every week or at least every other week. I am training for my first 50K. My marriage is happy, I feel healthy. And after I realized that for me, having a "work-life balance" is completely impossible, I have at least found something I am happy to consider both my work and my life.

So when I get asked the question, how long have you been running? The easiest answer I can think of is 10 years. I started running track and field in the spring of 2002, and running has been with me ever since. But there have been so many times in my life where I gave up on running when I shouldn't have, I don't know if it is fair to consider myself a 10 year runner.

So, I guess the answer I should come up with is that I am a 10 and 2 year runner. Running has been a part of my life for the majority of the past 10 years of my life, but I have only started seriously training in the past 2 years. But now it has become so ingrained into who I am, I don't think I could ever not run.

This was a long and complicated answer to a seemingly simple question. It makes me wonder, what is really behind the short and sweet answers I get when I usually ask that question? I love that I will have miles and hours ahead to ponder this with the people I am lucky enough to be striding next to.

Big Things, Little Mileage

OK, so it's only been a little while (forever) since I last updated, which attests to the amount I have been running over the past few weeks (not a lot!). Life has been crazy, between getting married, running a marathon, moving to a new place, and having my job changing, I haven't gotten a lot of time to write on here. Well, I finally have a little time, so here goes!

After my marathon, I really needed some downtime. Having a job in the running industry is amazing, but my life got a little over loaded on running in the month or so leading up to Nike. Between running 40+ miles a week and working with running on my mind 40+ hours a week, it was getting to be a LOT of running, whether I was actually running, thinking about running, or working on running stuff for my job. So, I needed some "away" time. Didn't run with my running friends, took a few weeks off from running altogether, and made the conscious goal not to talk about running as much as I usually do on my "off" time (my now husband is probably willing to attest to the fact that I think I failed at this goal). 

Well, my break lasted until last week when I fell in love with running all over again. I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder. Or maybe I just remembered how *awesome* it was to be outside, running with nothing holding you back. No training plans, no commitments, just running. I think I needed that realization. And the views on my trail runs didn't hurt either: 

Quicksilver Park

San Andreas Trail

Yup, trail running is my new obsession. I love it (except for when I fall and almost break myself). Road running is amazing, and it has given me the opportunity to meet some awesome people, but trail runs are just plain old good for your soul. They challenge you, show you where you need to improve, and reward you just when you think you can't go any further. Plus trail shoes are pretty kick ass. 

There are some pretty crazy trail runs in the Bay Area, and I am really excited about exploring more of them. My friend and I made a running pact a few weeks ago. We were both feeling out of sorts about running, and we were run/walk-ing a trail in Rancho San Antonio, and we were both feeling the pain. We decided then and there that we would re run Rancho every so often over the next few months to prove to ourselves that we could do it and that we were improving. A couple weeks later, we ran the PG&E trail (one of the toughest runs I have done) along with our run group, and I am proud to say that my friend and I pulled each other through, and we kicked that trail's butt! Ah, the power of peer pressure and friendly support on a tough run... and hopefully I can report back in a few weeks that we are feeling even stronger on the evil elevation of the PG&E!

I've also gotten back into racing, with two races this past week, the San Jose Turkey Trot and Brazen Racing's Quarry Turkey. I was DEFINITELY not prepared for the Quarry Turkey, and decided to do the half marathon at the spur of the moment. I am SO glad I did! It was a great course, beautiful weather, and Brazen as usual put on a top notch event. Plus it was great to have friends there supporting me!

Me, running like a turkey at the Quarry Turkey Half Marathon!

This was an interesting half marathon to run. It was the longest distance I had run since Nike, and I had a big mental block about running a half marathon again. I decided to run it at the last minute, which I think was for the best since I didn't over stress myself about it. I showed up, didn't even bring any water with me, and came with only a pack of chomps. I told myself at the beginning of the race I wasn't going to push it, and that I would walk through every aid station. Well, I followed my plan, and I honestly think I felt better during this race than any other, even a normal training day. I guess I just needed to chill, not build the mileage up so much in my mind, and not have a competition with myself like I usually do. Usually miles 9-10 are the hardest for me. I always approach those miles feeling totally drained and need to walk for a couple minutes. BUT, I powered through!! I was so proud of myself, and felt like I really accomplished something in this run. I need to stop listening to the negative thoughts in my head while I am running! I didn't finish the race with a PR (or even close to one), but I really hit a personal goal on that mile 9/10 and I felt awesome about it.

So, 5 weeks off apparently was what I needed. I'm ready to get back into the swing of things, run with my run groups again, and start kicking off training for my upcoming 50K on Mt. Diablo (yay?). I guess I needed some time to bounce back, and I am so glad I took it! I was getting burned out on running, and I hated feeling that way. I have a few big runs coming up, including a 16 miler in Quicksilver Park this weekend, which I am terrified of. But I will be running with friends, and I know that I can make it (as long as there is a delicious breakfast waiting for me at the end!!). 

And so it begins!

Well, this is my first post on my blog! Full disclosure, I work for a local running store and a lot of my running experiences are tied to that. It definitely puts a weird spin on my relationship with the running community, because not only am I an avid runner, I am also a part of the business side of the activity. I am a grassroots marketer, which essentially means I have the best job ever. I get to talk to runners every day, meet local race directors, try out new and interesting stuff all the time, and I get to see the best new running products super early!

So, I found myself asking, and you may be asking as well, What is the purpose of this blog? I find myself in such a cool position, as both a consumer and seller of running EVERYTHING that I wanted to write about it and share it with the world. I will be talking about the experiences I have had as a runner, how it feels to be a woman runner in what feels like a pretty guy-filled world, what new products I have been able to test out, and what cool and exciting new running events are coming up. Hopefully, that will all be interesting to YOU, my reader! If there is anything you want me to talk about that you think I might have some insight on, shoot me an email or leave it in the comments!

So, what am I up to right now? Currently, I am training for my FIRST FULL marathon! Crazy! It will be Nike Women's Marathon, and it is happening in a couple of weeks. Boy, I am getting scared! I have heard tons of horror stories about the hills, the wind, the cold, etc. etc., but I am so excited! Have you run the Nike Women's before? What's the good? What's the bad? Any advice for first time marathoners? I know I could certainly use any and all advice!

Of course, the most important question is, what kind of shoes am I going to be wearing? They are my old standbys, the shoes I have been running in (through many different models) for the past 4 years. They are... the Asics Gel Cumulus! I have found them to be perfect for my long runs. They aren't too heavy, but they still have enough cushioning to protect me against my old nemesis plantar fasciitis (more on that later). They are a bit stiff, but I find I like that much more than a softer shoe. It gives me enough "go" power to not feel like I am slogging through sand. I'll definitely expand on this review a bit more in the future, but I think this is a long enough post for now.

Goal time for this bad boy? I don't have one! It's my first, so my major goal is finishing! Originally, I had a goal time set for sub-4, but after talking to many runners, they all recommended I take it slow on my first so I have a sweet PR to beat my next time out. I think I will take them up on that advice!

I'm off for now, but be sure to stay tuned for funny stories about running, a girl's insight into running products out there, and how my running challenges are going. Hopefully you will be able to relate and add advice for both me and other runners out there!